All posts by clearsem

Recognizing Signs Of Depression In The Elderly

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One in five Americans aged 65 and older are affected by depression. That means over 20 percent of the aging population is affected, making recognizing signs of depression in the elderly increasingly important.

Although the rate of depression in the elderly population is relatively high, that does not mean that it is a normal part of aging. Depression can affect anyone, at any age, but there are several risk factors that put older adults at higher risk.

Risk Factors For Depression In Older Adults

  1. Difficult life events and changes in personal circumstances
  2. Losing loved ones and friends
  3. Loneliness and isolation
  4. Lack of social support
  5. Pain and physical illness
  6. Being a victim of crime or abuse
  7. Financial crisis
  8. Family history or past episodes of depression
  9. Moving accommodations
  10. Alcohol abuse
  11. Over medicating

Recognizing the risk factors for older adults allows you to realize when a loved one might be at risk for depression, and to be able to prevent possible negative repercussions. As the risk factors vary with different age groups, it is important to be familiar with the factors for older adults specifically. Elderly people also display symptoms of depression differently than younger adults, so it is also important to recognize age-specific symptoms of depression.

Symptoms Of Depression In Older Adults

  1. Psychotic Symptoms
    1. Delusions
    2. Auditory hallucinations
    3. Catatonic features
  2. Cognitive Symptoms
    1. Disorientation
    2. Memory loss
    3. Poor concentration
    4. Easily distracted
    5. Apathy
  3. Behavioral Symptoms
    1. Feeling melancholy
    2. Anorexia or excessive eating
    3. Insomnia or disrupted sleep patterns
    4. Loss of interest in hobbies and activities
    5. Thoughts of suicide
    6. Anergia
    7. Inappropriate feelings of guilt
    8. Pyschomotor retardation
    9. Note: sometimes medications can cause some of these same symptoms

Depression is a serious illness, and whether it affects people young or old, the condition's many symptoms make it very difficult for the individual to overcome it, or find a way out on their own. While depression affects around 6 million Americans aged 65 and over, only about 10 percent actually receive treatment. Perhaps this is because risk factors and symptoms are different in older adults and make recognizing the disease more difficult. Another factor could be the fact that seniors were raised in a generation when the disease was a stigma, and are afraid or embarrassed to ask for help.

Given the fact that depression can increase the risk for other serious diseases in older adults, it is important to make every effort to recognize and help get treatment for a loved one suffering. If you are caring for a depressed elderly person, you can make a difference by supporting them emotionally and making a point to be involved in their lives. Although you might not have the answer to fix their situations, sometimes just listening and giving support, companionship and love is enough to make a difference.

However, if you feel any concern, don't hesitate to contact a medical doctor for help and support. Also, if you are concerned about your loved one feeling isolated or lonely, and you don't have the chance to be around as much as you would like, you could consider a professional care provider. American In-Home Care, providers of senior home care Jacksonville, Orlando, Tampa, and throughout Florida, refers care providers that can perform many useful duties, and provide companionship and excitement for your loved one, so you don't have to worry. Call toll-free at 1-844-505-0004 to schedule a free consultation to discuss all of your options and find a care provider that is right for you and your loved one.

 

Caregiver Depression: The Intangible Cost Of Dementia Care:

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Does your mother have enough food? Does she have clean laundry? Is she eating nutritious meals? Has she been wandering? Is she safe? Does she have her medications? Are her finances in order? Who will set up her doctors appointments? Who will drive her?

Up to 50 percent of caregivers providing Alzheimer's and dementia care suffer from some sort of caregiver depression - developing major depressive illnesses and stress related to added duties and worry, according to a doctor with the Memory and Aging Center at the University of California, San Francisco. The caregiver becomes so overburdened with responsibilities, duties and worries that they aren't sure what to do next. This feeling of being overwhelmed and not knowing what to do, especially when it concerns a loved one, can lead to anxiety and eventually clinical depression.

With 80 million baby boomers getting older and needing more medical care, and estimates stating that there will be 7 million Americans with Alzheimer's disease by 2025, the concern becomes about the costs of care - financial costs, as well as the intangible mental and emotional costs on the caregiver.

Signs of Caregiver Depression

Providing dementia care and Alzheimer's care for a loved one can lead to feelings of stress, guilt, anger, sadness and isolation. Depression can affect caregivers in different ways and at different times, so it is important to recognize the signs and symptoms. It is common for depression to set in immediately after the loved one has been diagnosed with the disease, and also as the disease progresses and you start to see your loved one fade. Signs of depression include:

  • Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
  • Fatigue and decreased energy
  • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
  • Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
  • Irritability, restlessness
  • Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable
  • Overeating or appetite loss
  • Persistent aches, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not cease with treatment
  • Thoughts of suicide, or suicide attempts

If you are concerned that you might be depressed, see your doctor as soon as possible. If depression is left untreated, not only can it lead to emotional and physical problems, it can also affect the quality of care you're able to provide the person with Alzheimer's or dementia.

What is the solution?

Even though providing Alzheimer's and dementia care can be difficult, caring for loved ones can truly be very rewarding if managed correctly. It is important while providing care that the caregiver takes time to his or herself  to participate in enjoyable activities  and hobbies. Another way to help cope with the added responsibilities and stress is to try keeping a journal to express both positive and negative emotions. It is also important to talk to your friends and family and let them know when you might need some assistance.

There is also major research being conducted that aims to reduce both the tangible and intangible costs of dementia care. The University of California, San Francisco, along with the University of Nebraska Medical Center, is beginning a $10 million study funded by the federal Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Innovation. Researchers plan to develop a dementia "ecosystem," which aims to reduce the cost of caring for the growing number of dementia patients and to ease the strain on caregivers.

A handful of tech start-ups have also been working to create technological solutions to ease the burden on caregivers. In San Francisco, Lively markets a system of networked sensors and a watch that can pick up on activity around the house and let family members or caregivers know if there is a worrisome change.

With increasing technology targeted to help ease the burden of Alzheimer's and dementia care, caregiver responsibilities and worries will be lessened, and depression will likely decrease as a result. However, in the meantime it is important to find outlets for emotions related to providing care, and to seek professional help when necessary. Respite care is an affordable, reliable option that can provide the additional support to keep you from feeling isolated and overwhelmed. American In-Home Care offers respite care along with other live-in elderly care solutions. Contact us today to set up a free consultation and discuss what care options are right for you.

Memory Loss With Age: How to Cope

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Forgetfulness and memory lapses are common among older adults, and can be frustrating and embarrassing. As we grow older, we experience physiological changes that can cause glitches in brain functions that we have always taken for granted. Because it takes longer to learn and recall information, we’re not as quick as we used to be, which can lead to feelings of frustration when we forget everyday things.

As we age, the hippocampus, a region of the brain responsible for memory retrieval and formation, starts to deteriorate, and hormones and proteins that protect and repair brain cells and stimulate neural growth also decline. Older people are also less efficient at absorbing brain-enhancing nutrients, all of which makes some memory loss a natural part of aging.

For this reason, memory loss with age is common, and most people experience occasional lapses in memory that are normal and not necessarily a warning sign of serious mental deterioration or the onset of dementia. However, when memory loss becomes so pervasive and severe that it disrupts your work, hobbies, social activities, and family relationships, then it is time to see a doctor and get evaluated.

When a loved one has been evaluated and is diagnosed with severe memory loss such as Alzheimer's Disease, it can be challenging for the person diagnosed as well as the caregivers. Even though there are no medical treatments for curing severe memory impairments, changing the way things are done at home can help.

1. Use Lots of Hints and Reminders

Talk frequently about things that are coming up and important events that need to be remembered. Incorporate these reminders naturally into conversation so that it doesn't make the person feel foolish or point out the fact that they can't remember on their own. Also use hints like "let's make sandwiches for lunchtime," which can help remind them what time of day it is and what meal is coming next. Words with context such as "lunch," "dinner," or "bath time," can be more useful than using numeric values such as "3 o'clock."

2. Use Calendars and Clocks

Make sure there are clocks placed throughout the house, and keep blinds and curtains open during the day so that it is easier to keep track of the time of day. Before getting in bed,  visibly cross off the day on the calendar so that the new day is apparent in the morning.

3. Keep Old Photographs and Mementos Around

While these will not necessarily jog any present memories, they are important to have around because they can be comforting and provide reminders of family and friends. People with severe memory loss are often better able to recall events in the distant past, so having heirlooms and pictures around the house can help to provide a means to recall these comforting memories.

4. Keep Choices Limited

Remove the need for extra choices to be made which can confuse and upset the individual. For example, only leave a few shirts and two pairs of shoes in the closet, keeping the other items in a separate, locked closet. And when asking for the individual's preference, limit choices and distractions by asking "do you want" questions, such as "do you want to wear the black shoes?"

5. Use Night Lights Around the House

People with severe memory loss can easily become disoriented at night, so keeping night lights around helps them know where they are if they wake up in the middle of the night and need to use the bathroom. Also, keeping the house illuminated helps prevent injury due to falls or bumping in to objects.

6. Provide for Other Sensory Changes

Changes in other sensory organs comes along with severe memory loss, meaning taste, hearing and sight might also be compromised which can be confusing and even lead to depression. Be aware of this as a caregiver and be sure the individual gets the proper glasses or hearing aids if necessary, and try cooking with more spicy or flavorful foods to compensate for their deteriorating taste buds.

7. Show Not Tell

Because of the way the brain works, someone with a progressive memory disorder such as Alzheimer's would have a poor declarative memory (related to recalling facts), but still have a strong, healthy procedural memory (related to recalling how to do things). Thus, someone with Alzheimer's may be able to learn new skills or remember how to do tasks by practicing in small steps how something is done. It may take several weeks of patient practicing, but the sense of accomplishment and independence after learning the task is worth the effort.

8. Keep a Set Routine

People with severe memory loss do not function as well when there are changes and surprises in their day, so activities should be done at the same time and in the same way every day as much as possible. For example dressing before breakfast, watering the plants before lunch, and eating meals and exercising at the same time every day. If there needs to be a change, such as a vacation or a visit to the doctor, tell the person all the information beforehand in a positive, friendly way.

If you are worried that you or your loved one's memory loss might be getting serious, you can start by taking a quiz to test the severity of memory loss, but you should always see a doctor to confirm the results and start seeking treatment. People who are diagnosed with severe memory loss such as Alzheimer's or dementia often require constant and daily care to help provide for their needs, so do not feel overwhelmed or guilty if you cannot handle the care on your own, professional in-home care services can help your loved one remain safe, happy and under control in the comfort of their own home.

Beat Diabetes: Don't Be A Statistic

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Diabetes is the 7th leading cause of death in the United States with over nine percent of the population positively diagnosed with the disease. Of this overall percent, the percentage of seniors age 65 and older diagnosed with diabetes is alarmingly high at 25.9 percent or 11.8 million seniors.

Even more alarming is the fact that half of all seniors age 65 and older suffer from prediabetes, which means that blood-glucose levels are higher than normal but not high enough for a diagnosis of diabetes. People with prediabetes are at an increased risk for developing Type 2 diabetes and for heart disease and stroke.

Diabetes and prediabetes are very serious conditions that require attention to ensure early diagnosis and prevention methods. If left untreated, diabetics can suffer from kidney damage, blindness, hearing impairment, amputation, stroke, heart disease and eventually death.

However, the good news is that because so many Americans suffer from diabetes or are at risk for it, research and government programs such as the CDC are working and conducting research to find cures, prevention methods, solutions and support. In the 1990's, the National Institute of Health (NIH) conducted a large national clinical trial among 1,000 overweight adults at risk for Type 2 diabetes. After three years of the program, which was aimed at changing lifestyle habits - particularly exercise and diet - and promoting weight loss, participants lowered their risk of diabetes by 58 percent. Even more significant, those aged 60 and older had a 71 percent reduced risk.

These results are particularly heartening because they show that taking a proactive approach with lifestyle changes and weight loss can significantly lower if not eliminate the risk for diabetes. This knowledge, coupled with early detection practices could be enough to significantly lower the statistics for diagnosed cases and deaths from diabetes.

Warning Signs of Diabetes

It is fairly common for people to not display any symptoms of diabetes, especially in the early phases of the disease. However, diabetes symptoms generally include one or more of the following, and people should be aware if they start to develop these symptoms, especially if they know they are at an increased risk.

  • Urinating often
  • Feeling very thirsty
  • Feeling very hungry - even though you are eating
  • Extreme fatigue
  • Blurry vision
  • Cuts/bruises that are slow to heal
  • Weight loss - even though you are eating more (Type 1)
  • Tingling, pain, or numbness in the hands/feet (Type 2)

It is important to recognize these symptoms as early on as possible because early detection and treatment of diabetes can decrease the risk of developing complications associated with the disease. There are several tests that doctors can perform to diagnose diabetes, and you can even take risk tests to find out if you are at increased risk for developing Type 2 diabetes.

Change your Diet

Because the leading risk factor for diabetes is obesity, the best thing you can do to prevent diabetes is to lose weight. Taking steps to lose weight can include eating smaller meal portions and choosing healthier foods, including fruits and vegetables, while at the same time consuming fewer high-fat foods. The National Education Diabetes Program recommends eating whole grain foods, avoiding consumption of fried goods, and eating lean meats without the skins, as well as others.

Another important step for losing weight is portion control. Try reducing portion sizes by only filling half of your plate or only eating until you are 80 percent full. Also always plan to take home half of your meal when you eat out, as restaurants are notorious for dishing out huge portions. Scaling back on dessert is also a factor to consider. Eating dessert is alright, but consume it less frequently and in smaller amounts. Yogurt is also a great substitute for dessert, as it is shown that regularly consuming dairy reduces the risk of developing Type 2 diabetes.

Get More Exercise

Activity can reduce your risk for Type 2 diabetes because it helps make your cells be more receptive. The National Education Diabetes Program recommends adding more activity each day until you reach at least 30 minutes a day, five days a week. Brisk walking, swimming and tennis or golf are great physical activities to get started, and you should also incorporate gentle strength and aerobic training into your physical activity regimen.

Stress and poor sleep also contribute to obesity and thus to diabetes. Exercising regularly can help reduce stress and get your body on a schedule, which helps regulate sleep habits. Other activities that can help with these include meditation, listening to soothing music, or sitting outside and enjoying relaxing activities such as reading or knitting.

Overall, being aware of your own personal risk for diabetes and keeping an eye on any developing symptoms is very important. But being proactive with your health and weight is something that every person can do, regardless if they already have diabetes or not, and these steps are enough to help lower your risk as well as reduce complications that might arise if/when the disease develops. With these subtle but dramatically important lifestyle changes, you can beat diabetes.

 

Safety Tips For Traveling With Alzheimer's Disease

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When a loved one is diagnosed with Alzheimer's, it often feels like that is the end of life as you know it. But being a caregiver for someone with Alzheimer's  doesn't mean that you have to give up traveling, nor does it mean your loved one can no longer enjoy getting out of the house. Traveling with Alzheimer's disease is still possible in the early stages of the disease, it just requires advanced planning to ensure everyone involved is safe and happy.

Safety is always the number one consideration when planning a trip with a loved one who has Alzheimer's. Follow the steps below to help plan an Alzheimer's-safe vacation so that you can both relax and enjoy the trip.

1. Have a plan in place for wandering.

A familiar routine and environment are comforting to someone suffering from Alzheimer's, and because traveling disrupts this, it is more likely that anxiety and wandering could happen. That is why it is crucial to never leave your loved one alone, be prepared, and have a plan in place.

Contact your local Alzheimer's Association before your trip and register with their Safe Return Program or  Comfort Zone monitoring system, being sure to complete the process entirely before you leave. If a situation arises while you are there, have a plan in place and don't hesitate to contact the local authorities.

3. Keep comfort in mind when traveling.

Have comfort items such as pillows, snacks and water readily available when you travel. This includes any kind of transportation including bus, train, car or airplane. If you decide to fly, schedule flights early in the day, and choose to fly non-stop if you can. Put medications in your carry-on bag, along with any other necessities you might need in case your flight is delayed. And  consider bringing a puzzle book or something similar for your loved one to hold on to.

3. During your trip, maintain a daily routine as much as possible.

Even in a new environment, having a regular routine will lessen the confusion for your loved one. Plan on waking up at the same time every morning and going to bed at the same time in the evenings. Also eat meals at the same time during the day. Create a plan for your days, organizing the days with structured and pleasant activities that you both can enjoy. Plan to see places and incorporate activities you know they enjoy, and make sure to allow for flexibility within your daily routine for spontaneous activities.

4. Consider respite care while you travel.

If you feel that traveling with your loved one would be too difficult or too disruptive to them, consider hiring a temporary respite care provider to come to their home. This will allow you the chance to take a break from your caregiving responsibilities, which can be crucial for your own health and happiness, and it will give your loved one a chance to  experience quality care and meaningful activities, making their "staycation" fun and safe as well.

American In-Home Care refers care providers that can assist with Respite Care and additional Alzheimer's Care services, ensuring your loved one will be in the best hands, and will always be safe and happy. We offer free, no obligation consultations and assessments. Contact us today!

 

 

 

 

 

Preventing Caregiver Burnout

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When an aging parent starts to show signs of needing permanent care and assistance, many families are unsure of what to do. Nursing homes are too drastic, and in-home care services haven’t been researched, so often a family member single-handedly takes on the role of caregiver. However, being the sole caregiver for an aging parent can be a big task, especially when taken on by an already busy family member. This can easily lead to the caregiver beginning to neglect his or her own needs, and if ignored, caregiver burnout is inevitable.

While providing for a parent can bring satisfaction, trying to keep up with the growing emotional and physical needs of their parent can overwhelm the family member who takes on such a large, personal task. When the safety of the parent starts to come in to question, the caregiver can feel guilt for not providing enough care, which leads to added stress and caregiver burnout.

How to Recognize Caregiver Burnout

  • Feeling down, depressed and unhappy
  • Not wanting to or not having enough energy to participate in hobbies and activities
  • Developing abnormal eating patterns, and losing or gaining a lot of weight
  • Turning to alcohol or abusing drugs to cope
  • Developing unhealthy sleeping habits such as insomnia or excessive sleeping
  • Withdrawing from friends and family, or becoming impatient or irritable with people around you
  • Getting sick more often or not being able to get rid of an illness
  • Thoughts of suicide or harming yourself or a loved one

Preventing Caregiver Burnout

  • Keep a daily routine for both yourself and your parent, and stick to it
  • Eat a well-balanced diet and be sure to drink lots of fluids and take supplements if necessary
  • Get sufficient rest. When your parent(s) is resting, you can rest too
  • Take a little time for yourself each day. Even 15 minutes of “me” time is important
  • Know your limits and do not try to do more than you are capable of handling
  • Don’t be afraid to ask family members or friends for help. They can give you days off or just help with certain tasks
  • Find a friend, support group or doctor that you can confide in and ask for advice and support when needed
  • Enjoy moments of happiness and laughter and try to focus on the satisfaction that you get from providing for your loved one

Caregivers are taking on a large, personal responsibility and so it is important to be able to recognize signs of burnout, and to be equipped to combat it. However, if you do find yourself suffering from burnout, reach out for help. Contact your doctor immediately if you become ill or start having suicidal thoughts, and join a support group who can provide support and ideas for making the experience easier. Also consider in-home services as they can provide your parent with all of the expert, personal care and attention that he or she needs while allowing you to focus on your own health and well-being again. Remember it is important to take care of yourself first so that you can continue to be able to care for the ones you love for many years to come.

Financing Senior Care: Understanding Your Options

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With the average lifespan increasing and costs of living rising, more and more aging adults that need care are finding their savings accounts depleted. The cost of care then falls back onto the family, who have financial burdens of their own, and often get overwhelmed by expensive care options.

According to the Genworth 2014 Cost of Care Survey, the average annual cost of a one bedroom apartment in an assisted living community is $42,000 per year, and a private room in a nursing home averages more than $87,600 per year. Independent home care is generally less expensive, so many seniors and their families opt for this option because of the potential for savings and the benefits of aging at home. However, quality in-home care providers with screened and trained professionals are still relatively expensive, and thus financing senior care requires understanding options through research and careful planning.

Long-Term Care Insurance

Long-term care insurance (LTCI) helps pay for costs that private medical insurance does not cover, and  minimizes the financial impact of long-term health care needs. In general, long-term care insurance covers the cost of home care, assisted living, adult daycare, respite care, hospice care, nursing home and Alzheimer's care facilities. However, most companies will not insure people with preexisting conditions, so it is best to buy LTCI before health issues arise.

Learn more about long-term care insurance

Life Insurance Policy Conversions: Long Term Care Benefit Plan

Rather than allowing a life insurance policy to lapse, the owner can convert their policy into a Long Term Care Benefit Plan. It is a unique financial option for seniors because it pays for immediate care needs, all health conditions are accepted, and there are no premium payments. There are also no wait periods, care limitations, costs or obligations to apply, and no requirement to be terminally ill. Policy owners have the right to convert an in-force life insurance policy to enroll in this benefit plan, and are able to immediately direct tax-exempt payments to cover specific costs like senior housing and long term care.

Government Funded Long Term Care

Contrary to popular belief, Medicare is not universal health care for people over 65, and it does not cover long-term care costs for seniors. However, Medicare, Medicaid and the US Department of Veteran Affairs do offer assistance programs that can help pay for eldercare in certain circumstances. You can also follow some tips to make sure you are making the most of your Social Security benefits.

Reverse Mortgages

A reverse mortgage - also known as a Home Equity Conversion Mortgage (HECM) - is a kind of loan for homeowners over the age of 62 that turns home equity into cash. When a reverse mortgage is secured, the money from the home equity can be used while still living in and retaining ownership of their home. There are no restrictions on how the money from a reverse mortgage can be used. The relatively high closing costs can be a disadvantage, but it could be useful if there is concern about not being able to make the payments on a normal loan, or the money is needed for any purpose.

By planning ahead, financing senior care doesn't have to be such a burden on you and your family. Your financing options can be a part of your long term retirement plan, and can help you and your family feel prepared and secure. American In-Home Care offers affordable, compassionate, and qualified in-home care services. Contact us today at 1-844-505-0004 to schedule your free in-home consultation to assess your care needs and determine the care options that are right for you and your family.

Using Exercise To Ease And Prevent Parkinson's

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Parkinson's Disease (PD) cannot be cured. But it can be managed, and quite effectively at that. Aside from medications and possible surgery, lifestyle changes such as adding exercise into a routine can have a positive effect on the course of the disease.

Parkinson's causes brain cells to stop producing dopamine, which leads to decreased balance and strength, slowed movement and tremors, and speech impairment. People living with PD often feel like they are at the mercy of the disease, but this doesn't have to be the case. Adding an exercise regimen can help control symptoms by improving stability, flexibility and management of tremors.

Those with PD should follow a specific type of exercise regimen that is safe and effective, and targets specific areas affected by the disease. David Zid, an ACE, APG certified personal trainer and president of Columbus Health Works, has worked with Thomas H. Mallory, M.D. to create and publish a comprehensive exercise guide for sufferers of PD. Diagnosed with PD several years ago, Dr. Mallory has stuck to Zid's regimen and seen great results and improvement in his symptoms.

Their workbook and corresponding video detail specific exercises that are tailored to the Parkinson's patient, and emphasize a physical and mental commitment to not giving up. The program is designed to proactively improve flexibility, stability and strength while minimizing tremors, making daily activities such as standing up from a chair or walking on uneven ground easier. Not only can a targeted exercise regimen such as this help PD patients maintain independence, it can also give them much needed hope.

Some exercises that specifically benefit Parkinson's patients include walking and balancing drills, cardiovascular exercise, stretching, strength training with and without weights, core exercises and voice and facial exercises. Dr. Mallory and David Zid give a thorough breakdown of exercises in each of these categories along with visual demonstrations in their workbook.

Exercise has been proven to be beneficial for everyone's general health, and aerobic activities can improve heart and lung function and have noticeable benefits on the physical body. These physical benefits translate into a better quality of life for PD patients; however, in the case of Parkinson's, perhaps the most important aspect of exercise is the effect it has on the brain.

It is known that exercise decreases anxiety and depression, but a recent study out of Pittsburgh has demonstrated that exercise also appears to prevent loss of brain cells that worsens PD. So, a program of tailored exercises plus medication can have a very positive effect on symptoms and vastly improve the quality of life for one living with Parkinson's.

The most important thing to remember is that it is never too late to get started on a exercise regimen, to get control of symptoms and to start living a better quality life. When your ability to move improves, so does your feeling of accomplishment and sense of well being.

 

How To Keep A Healthy Bond With Your Aging Mother

Aging, Caregiving,

"Thirty million baby boomers are caring for their aging parents, often [it is] their widowed or single moms, often from far away," says Dan Tobin, MD. "This can be extraordinarily stressful for all involved."

It is sometimes difficult for children of aging parents to see their parents as they are now. It is difficult to come to terms with their aging and in turn, they choose to ignore or avoid the elephant in the room... that mom is getting old, and mom is changing.

Here are some ideas on how you can take proactive steps to improve the quality of your relationship with your mom.

  1. Schedule quality time. It is important to develop a routine and to stick to it! Spend routine quality time with your mom no matter how far away you live. Regular phone calls and regular visits help you be involved in your mom's life. "Being there" helps you monitor how she is doing with her daily living. Try to find activities that you both enjoy... but more importantly, that she enjoys doing - and do them together.
  2. Help your mother stay connected. Encourage your mom to stay connected to her community through volunteering, social and community activities, and through technology. Teach her how to stay connected with family and friends via email, through web-cam video chats, and many other senior friendly digital technologies. As people age, their world tends to get smaller, and that can lead to depression. Staying connected is so important.
  3. Focus on your mom's basic home safety and fall prevention. This is key for any senior who desires to stay safe in their own home. Click here for more info on home safety. Bonus Tip: Encourage physical mobility and exercise. This helps with bone strength, balance, and makes aging easier and safer.
  4. Rally the troops. Bring extended family together regularly for mom. Celebrate often! Remember to include her in your little everyday celebrations. It is a good idea to have siblings share the responsibility. I've heard of some siblings each taking a day of the week to call or check in on mom to ensure that regular contact is made but the burden is shared.
  5. Help mom talk about worries, concerns, fears. Depending on everyone's comfort level, it can be so helpful to ask your mom about issues - big and small. This can bring you deepen your relationship as you open up to each other. She may try to protect you by not sharing, but you may be surprised when she feels relieved that she can express her fears about the future. They are probably common fears like loss of independence, illness, frailty, etc. Getting them out and on the table might be incredibly therapeutic for everyone involved.
  6. Find high-quality affordable in-home assistance. It is not uncommon for older adults to do without, rather than asking for help. Possibly this is because they are concerned about money, but probably it is because they fear needing help - thinking it means that they will need to move. Or maybe they don't know how to go about finding help. Any help you can offer to help your mom feel comfortable with help will improve her chances of aging safely and happily in place - the desire of most.
  7. Laugh with her. Laughter is the best medicine. It releases tension and can brighten the moment. Gauge it to your mom's personality, but add as much humor to as many situations as possible. Go see a funny movie, read the funny section in the paper, laugh about a funny family memory.

It is very difficult to be part of the "sandwich generation" where you may be taking care of your parents as well as teens. If your loved one is your father, or uncle, or whomever... sub out the words mom for your relationship and adjust the pronouns as needed.

The best thing you can do for your loved one is being there, and helping them find help before they even ask. For more information regarding talking to a loved one about care, contact us.

How To Let A Senior Driver Know It's Time To Retire Their Keys

Aging, Lifestyle, ,

 

There are more than 30 million people over the age of 65 who are licensed to drive in the United States. Those 30 million senior drivers made up 14 percent of the total number of all car related fatalities in 2006. 14 percent. That is an alarming number, and it makes the need to address senior drivers even more urgent.

Talking to seniors about concerns for their safety while driving can be a very difficult topic to broach, and so it often gets put off, procrastinated. But think how would you feel if the delay led to a serious car accident.

Realizing the possible consequences should help overcome some hesitation, but it still doesn't mean it will be an easy conversation, telling someone that they can't perform a basic task that they have done all their life, that they will be losing some of their independence.

But alas, it is a difficult conversation that must be had once you are concerned about the safety of an older driver because you don't want to wait until it is too late. Armed with the understanding that there is a tough process ahead, there are a few steps you can take to make it go as smoothly as possible.

1. Plan Ahead

This is the most important step you can take to ensure that the conversation doesn't spin off in to a heated debate or end with feelings hurt. Know the points you want to make and be empathetic - try to imagine how it must feel to be in their shoes.

Set realistic expectations for how the conversation will go, and realize that you might have to revisit the subject later on. It might also be helpful to give up your own car for a few days or weeks to show that you are committed to helping and understanding what they are going through.

2. Bringing it up Initially

Once you have planned out what you want to say, it is best to broach the subject gently. Even though you might feel like it is an obvious decision and therefore want to be blunt about it, you must remember that the driver is likely going through some emotional internal struggles, and it is best to take a sensitive approach.

If their driving has become erratic or scary enough for you to take notice, they likely notice themselves and will be willing to listen. Try prefacing the conversation with a question about how they are feeling about driving or if they are finding it hard to manage. However, if they become angry and defensive, it is best to drop the conversation for now and try bringing it up again later rather than battling and likely not making any progress.

3. Practice Reflective Listening

You must be ready for some inevitable objections. It is natural to wonder how you will go about your daily life without a means of transportation - How will I get to my appointments? How will I get to the store for groceries?  However, instead of answering questions like this with a quick dismissal that they will all work out just fine, or jumping to a conclusion that a friend will be glad to help, try reflective listening instead.

Reflective listening is a technique to turn the question back on itself, which results in an engaged conversation and promotes discussion and reflection, an important step to working through major transitions.

4. Don't Rush the Conversation

This conversation is likely to bring up many emotions and could easily turn in to a trip down memory lane. But this is perfectly fine and you actually encourage it, as reminiscing could help come to terms with life transitions. However, some point in the conversation you should pose the question about what he or she thinks is best to do about driving. This should help them reflect on possible consequences and consider the best option for themselves.

Don't be afraid to suggest a break. Once you have had an initial discussion and gotten your points out there, give some time to let them marinate and suggest you all get back together in a few days.

5. Address any Issues that could be Affecting the Driver

If the person you are talking to admits that they are having trouble driving, it is worth checking to see if an underlying medical issue could be the cause. Make appointments with their physicians and eye and ear specialists. Be sure to ask about medications they are taking and potential side effects, as it is possible that lowering a dose or changing a medication could fix the problem.

Once you speak to the doctors, you will have a better idea about when and if it is safe for them to be driving. If they get the clear from their doctors, it is a good idea to brush up on traffic laws and safe driving tips with them, possibly even take them on a few practice drives to make sure they feel comfortable. If it really is time to give up driving all together, help them find other reliable transportation options, and even ride the bus or train with them to make sure they are comfortable.

6. Be Proactive

Once you have had the discussion and you all have come to an agreement that it is time to hang up the keys, there are ways that you can be proactive to help ease the transition.

Make sure that you keep them connected. Start making it a habit to drop by their house and check in, even if it is just for a quick chat to keep them in the loop. Be sure to include them in family activities and outings. Also be sure that you offer to drive them to activities they enjoy, and urge them to connect with any friends who can drive. Suggest that they reciprocate in some way by cooking these friends dinner or inviting them over for tea.

You can also suggest other means of getting around. Ride public transportation with them and print out a schedule and map to make it accessible. Also try introducing them to new hobbies and activities that don't require them to leave the house, such as gardening, bird watching or walking the neighborhood.

 

Ultimately remember that you are a very important part of their lives, and your opinion and support matters. So keep trying if you don't succeed at first, and once they finally hang up the keys remember to be supportive and caring. Your presence and dedication can ease the transition and help ensure that your loved ones do not become just another statistic for car related fatalities.