All posts by Don Thurman

Preventing Caregiver Burnout

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When an aging parent starts to show signs of needing permanent care and assistance, many families are unsure of what to do. Nursing homes are too drastic, and in-home care services haven’t been researched, so often a family member single-handedly takes on the role of caregiver. However, being the sole caregiver for an aging parent can be a big task, especially when taken on by an already busy family member. This can easily lead to the caregiver beginning to neglect his or her own needs, and if ignored, caregiver burnout is inevitable.

While providing for a parent can bring satisfaction, trying to keep up with the growing emotional and physical needs of their parent can overwhelm the family member who takes on such a large, personal task. When the safety of the parent starts to come in to question, the caregiver can feel guilt for not providing enough care, which leads to added stress and caregiver burnout.

How to Recognize Caregiver Burnout

  • Feeling down, depressed and unhappy
  • Not wanting to or not having enough energy to participate in hobbies and activities
  • Developing abnormal eating patterns, and losing or gaining a lot of weight
  • Turning to alcohol or abusing drugs to cope
  • Developing unhealthy sleeping habits such as insomnia or excessive sleeping
  • Withdrawing from friends and family, or becoming impatient or irritable with people around you
  • Getting sick more often or not being able to get rid of an illness
  • Thoughts of suicide or harming yourself or a loved one

Preventing Caregiver Burnout

  • Keep a daily routine for both yourself and your parent, and stick to it
  • Eat a well-balanced diet and be sure to drink lots of fluids and take supplements if necessary
  • Get sufficient rest. When your parent(s) is resting, you can rest too
  • Take a little time for yourself each day. Even 15 minutes of “me” time is important
  • Know your limits and do not try to do more than you are capable of handling
  • Don’t be afraid to ask family members or friends for help. They can give you days off or just help with certain tasks
  • Find a friend, support group or doctor that you can confide in and ask for advice and support when needed
  • Enjoy moments of happiness and laughter and try to focus on the satisfaction that you get from providing for your loved one

Caregivers are taking on a large, personal responsibility and so it is important to be able to recognize signs of burnout, and to be equipped to combat it. However, if you do find yourself suffering from burnout, reach out for help. Contact your doctor immediately if you become ill or start having suicidal thoughts, and join a support group who can provide support and ideas for making the experience easier. Also consider in-home services as they can provide your parent with all of the expert, personal care and attention that he or she needs while allowing you to focus on your own health and well-being again. Remember it is important to take care of yourself first so that you can continue to be able to care for the ones you love for many years to come.

Using Exercise To Ease And Prevent Parkinson's

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Parkinson's Disease (PD) cannot be cured. But it can be managed, and quite effectively at that. Aside from medications and possible surgery, lifestyle changes such as adding exercise into a routine can have a positive effect on the course of the disease.

Parkinson's causes brain cells to stop producing dopamine, which leads to decreased balance and strength, slowed movement and tremors, and speech impairment. People living with PD often feel like they are at the mercy of the disease, but this doesn't have to be the case. Adding an exercise regimen can help control symptoms by improving stability, flexibility and management of tremors.

Those with PD should follow a specific type of exercise regimen that is safe and effective, and targets specific areas affected by the disease. David Zid, an ACE, APG certified personal trainer and president of Columbus Health Works, has worked with Thomas H. Mallory, M.D. to create and publish a comprehensive exercise guide for sufferers of PD. Diagnosed with PD several years ago, Dr. Mallory has stuck to Zid's regimen and seen great results and improvement in his symptoms.

Their workbook and corresponding video detail specific exercises that are tailored to the Parkinson's patient, and emphasize a physical and mental commitment to not giving up. The program is designed to proactively improve flexibility, stability and strength while minimizing tremors, making daily activities such as standing up from a chair or walking on uneven ground easier. Not only can a targeted exercise regimen such as this help PD patients maintain independence, it can also give them much needed hope.

Some exercises that specifically benefit Parkinson's patients include walking and balancing drills, cardiovascular exercise, stretching, strength training with and without weights, core exercises and voice and facial exercises. Dr. Mallory and David Zid give a thorough breakdown of exercises in each of these categories along with visual demonstrations in their workbook.

Exercise has been proven to be beneficial for everyone's general health, and aerobic activities can improve heart and lung function and have noticeable benefits on the physical body. These physical benefits translate into a better quality of life for PD patients; however, in the case of Parkinson's, perhaps the most important aspect of exercise is the effect it has on the brain.

It is known that exercise decreases anxiety and depression, but a recent study out of Pittsburgh has demonstrated that exercise also appears to prevent loss of brain cells that worsens PD. So, a program of tailored exercises plus medication can have a very positive effect on symptoms and vastly improve the quality of life for one living with Parkinson's.

The most important thing to remember is that it is never too late to get started on a exercise regimen, to get control of symptoms and to start living a better quality life. When your ability to move improves, so does your feeling of accomplishment and sense of well being.

 

How To Keep A Healthy Bond With Your Aging Mother

Aging, Caregiving,

"Thirty million baby boomers are caring for their aging parents, often [it is] their widowed or single moms, often from far away," says Dan Tobin, MD. "This can be extraordinarily stressful for all involved."

It is sometimes difficult for children of aging parents to see their parents as they are now. It is difficult to come to terms with their aging and in turn, they choose to ignore or avoid the elephant in the room... that mom is getting old, and mom is changing.

Here are some ideas on how you can take proactive steps to improve the quality of your relationship with your mom.

  1. Schedule quality time. It is important to develop a routine and to stick to it! Spend routine quality time with your mom no matter how far away you live. Regular phone calls and regular visits help you be involved in your mom's life. "Being there" helps you monitor how she is doing with her daily living. Try to find activities that you both enjoy... but more importantly, that she enjoys doing - and do them together.
  2. Help your mother stay connected. Encourage your mom to stay connected to her community through volunteering, social and community activities, and through technology. Teach her how to stay connected with family and friends via email, through web-cam video chats, and many other senior friendly digital technologies. As people age, their world tends to get smaller, and that can lead to depression. Staying connected is so important.
  3. Focus on your mom's basic home safety and fall prevention. This is key for any senior who desires to stay safe in their own home. Click here for more info on home safety. Bonus Tip: Encourage physical mobility and exercise. This helps with bone strength, balance, and makes aging easier and safer.
  4. Rally the troops. Bring extended family together regularly for mom. Celebrate often! Remember to include her in your little everyday celebrations. It is a good idea to have siblings share the responsibility. I've heard of some siblings each taking a day of the week to call or check in on mom to ensure that regular contact is made but the burden is shared.
  5. Help mom talk about worries, concerns, fears. Depending on everyone's comfort level, it can be so helpful to ask your mom about issues - big and small. This can bring you deepen your relationship as you open up to each other. She may try to protect you by not sharing, but you may be surprised when she feels relieved that she can express her fears about the future. They are probably common fears like loss of independence, illness, frailty, etc. Getting them out and on the table might be incredibly therapeutic for everyone involved.
  6. Find high-quality affordable in-home assistance. It is not uncommon for older adults to do without, rather than asking for help. Possibly this is because they are concerned about money, but probably it is because they fear needing help - thinking it means that they will need to move. Or maybe they don't know how to go about finding help. Any help you can offer to help your mom feel comfortable with help will improve her chances of aging safely and happily in place - the desire of most.
  7. Laugh with her. Laughter is the best medicine. It releases tension and can brighten the moment. Gauge it to your mom's personality, but add as much humor to as many situations as possible. Go see a funny movie, read the funny section in the paper, laugh about a funny family memory.

It is very difficult to be part of the "sandwich generation" where you may be taking care of your parents as well as teens. If your loved one is your father, or uncle, or whomever... sub out the words mom for your relationship and adjust the pronouns as needed.

The best thing you can do for your loved one is being there, and helping them find help before they even ask. For more information regarding talking to a loved one about care, contact us.

How To Let A Senior Driver Know It's Time To Retire Their Keys

Aging, Lifestyle, ,

 

There are more than 30 million people over the age of 65 who are licensed to drive in the United States. Those 30 million senior drivers made up 14 percent of the total number of all car related fatalities in 2006. 14 percent. That is an alarming number, and it makes the need to address senior drivers even more urgent.

Talking to seniors about concerns for their safety while driving can be a very difficult topic to broach, and so it often gets put off, procrastinated. But think how would you feel if the delay led to a serious car accident.

Realizing the possible consequences should help overcome some hesitation, but it still doesn't mean it will be an easy conversation, telling someone that they can't perform a basic task that they have done all their life, that they will be losing some of their independence.

But alas, it is a difficult conversation that must be had once you are concerned about the safety of an older driver because you don't want to wait until it is too late. Armed with the understanding that there is a tough process ahead, there are a few steps you can take to make it go as smoothly as possible.

1. Plan Ahead

This is the most important step you can take to ensure that the conversation doesn't spin off in to a heated debate or end with feelings hurt. Know the points you want to make and be empathetic - try to imagine how it must feel to be in their shoes.

Set realistic expectations for how the conversation will go, and realize that you might have to revisit the subject later on. It might also be helpful to give up your own car for a few days or weeks to show that you are committed to helping and understanding what they are going through.

2. Bringing it up Initially

Once you have planned out what you want to say, it is best to broach the subject gently. Even though you might feel like it is an obvious decision and therefore want to be blunt about it, you must remember that the driver is likely going through some emotional internal struggles, and it is best to take a sensitive approach.

If their driving has become erratic or scary enough for you to take notice, they likely notice themselves and will be willing to listen. Try prefacing the conversation with a question about how they are feeling about driving or if they are finding it hard to manage. However, if they become angry and defensive, it is best to drop the conversation for now and try bringing it up again later rather than battling and likely not making any progress.

3. Practice Reflective Listening

You must be ready for some inevitable objections. It is natural to wonder how you will go about your daily life without a means of transportation - How will I get to my appointments? How will I get to the store for groceries?  However, instead of answering questions like this with a quick dismissal that they will all work out just fine, or jumping to a conclusion that a friend will be glad to help, try reflective listening instead.

Reflective listening is a technique to turn the question back on itself, which results in an engaged conversation and promotes discussion and reflection, an important step to working through major transitions.

4. Don't Rush the Conversation

This conversation is likely to bring up many emotions and could easily turn in to a trip down memory lane. But this is perfectly fine and you actually encourage it, as reminiscing could help come to terms with life transitions. However, some point in the conversation you should pose the question about what he or she thinks is best to do about driving. This should help them reflect on possible consequences and consider the best option for themselves.

Don't be afraid to suggest a break. Once you have had an initial discussion and gotten your points out there, give some time to let them marinate and suggest you all get back together in a few days.

5. Address any Issues that could be Affecting the Driver

If the person you are talking to admits that they are having trouble driving, it is worth checking to see if an underlying medical issue could be the cause. Make appointments with their physicians and eye and ear specialists. Be sure to ask about medications they are taking and potential side effects, as it is possible that lowering a dose or changing a medication could fix the problem.

Once you speak to the doctors, you will have a better idea about when and if it is safe for them to be driving. If they get the clear from their doctors, it is a good idea to brush up on traffic laws and safe driving tips with them, possibly even take them on a few practice drives to make sure they feel comfortable. If it really is time to give up driving all together, help them find other reliable transportation options, and even ride the bus or train with them to make sure they are comfortable.

6. Be Proactive

Once you have had the discussion and you all have come to an agreement that it is time to hang up the keys, there are ways that you can be proactive to help ease the transition.

Make sure that you keep them connected. Start making it a habit to drop by their house and check in, even if it is just for a quick chat to keep them in the loop. Be sure to include them in family activities and outings. Also be sure that you offer to drive them to activities they enjoy, and urge them to connect with any friends who can drive. Suggest that they reciprocate in some way by cooking these friends dinner or inviting them over for tea.

You can also suggest other means of getting around. Ride public transportation with them and print out a schedule and map to make it accessible. Also try introducing them to new hobbies and activities that don't require them to leave the house, such as gardening, bird watching or walking the neighborhood.

 

Ultimately remember that you are a very important part of their lives, and your opinion and support matters. So keep trying if you don't succeed at first, and once they finally hang up the keys remember to be supportive and caring. Your presence and dedication can ease the transition and help ensure that your loved ones do not become just another statistic for car related fatalities.